Chicago, IL - In response to struggling diocesan finances, parish membership, and Mass attendance, even with all the clown masses to “appeal to the youths” don’t seem to be helping the situation, the consultancy firm Diocesan Inc., which is advising the Archdiocese of Chicago, made an additional recommendation beyond adding guitars, cracking jokes in homilies, or closing parishes.
Yes, just do away with confession. Have the collection boxes there and people can leave money to have their sins forgiven. There could be a sliding scale fee for how much to pay for what sins. Mortal sins could be $1000.
Why not just eliminate confession erm…..or is it reconciliation?
Just have the pope grant general absolution to the entire world! Besides since there is no hell and everybody goes to heaven why waste your valuable afternoon going to confession? Erm……um? Or is that reconciliation?
RJMI has written and spoke on this topic of simony at his site: JohnTheBaptist.us The One, True God, the Catholic God and His One, True Catholic Church has always condemned simony. If Catholics obey the demands/laws of the Church on tithing, sufficient funds are given to the pastors for their needs. God condemns the following as simony: Mass stipends, stole fees, money for weddings and funerals and Baptisms and the Sacraments and so forth.
Here is his writing on Simony
Non-Catholics Cannot Hold Offices in the Catholic Church, by RJMI, book, Br65
—Hence the secret sin of simony, which is heresy, bans offenders from offices
Page 97: Hence the secret sin of simony, which is heresy, bans offenders from offices
Simony is the buying or attempted buying of sacred things, such as the sacraments,
sacramentals, blessings, and offices in the Catholic Church. Simony was always condemned as a heresy during the Old Testament era and New Testament era. It is an ordinary magisterium and
solemn magisterium dogma that simoniacs are automatically excommunicated from the Catholic
Church and thus banned from holding offices. Hence a Catholic officeholder who becomes a
simoniac is automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church and hence is no longer
Catholic and thus automatically loses his office. And a Catholic who attempts to obtain an office
by simony is automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church and hence is no longer
Catholic and thus does not obtain the office. And priests and bishops who are simoniacs are
illegal and thus cannot effectively function as priests and bishops.
Therefore the ordination of a bishop by simony is invalid in relation to obtaining the office
and illegal in relation to becoming a bishop. This simoniac does not obtain the office. And even
though he becomes a bishop, he does not have the legal right to function as a bishop and hence
his rank of bishop is rendered ineffective as long as he remains outside the Catholic Church.
The first simoniac on record during the New Covenant era was Simon Magus. The sin was
named after him. He offered money to Pope St. Peter to become a bishop and obtain the office of
bishop. But St. Peter condemned Simon and told him that a rank and office cannot be bought:
“And when Simon saw that by the imposition of the hands of the apostles the Holy
Spirit was given, he offered them money, saying: Give me also this power, that on
whomsoever I shall lay my hands, he may receive the Holy Spirit. But Peter said to
him: Keep thy money to thyself to perish with thee because thou hast thought that
the gift of God may be purchased with money. Thou hast no part nor lot in this
matter. For thy heart is not right in the sight of God.” (Acts 8:18-21)
Catholic Commentary on Acts 8:18: “Offered them money: Simony, this wicked
sorcerer Simon is noted by St. Irenaeus (li. 1 c. 20) and others to have been the first
heretic and father of all heretics to come in the Church of God. He gave the onset to
purchase with his money spiritual functions; that is, to buy the office of bishop, for
to have power to give the Holy Spirit by imposition of hands is to be a bishop, and
to buy the priesthood, for to have power to remit sins and to consecrate Christ’s
body is to be a priest. He attempted to buy the authority to minister Sacraments, to
preach, to have cure of souls, to buy a benefice, and likewise in all other spiritual
things, whereof either to make sale or purchase for money or money’s worth, which
is a great horrible sin called simony and is named ‘Simonical Heresy’ of this
detestable man who first attempted to buy a spiritual function or office. (See D.
Greg. apud Ioan. Diac. in vir. li. 3, c. 2, 3, 4, 5).”.......
My college has been fundraising a lot for our church recently. Why don’t they just do this?
They still can!
Yes, just do away with confession. Have the collection boxes there and people can leave money to have their sins forgiven. There could be a sliding scale fee for how much to pay for what sins. Mortal sins could be $1000.
Perfect idea. What could go wrong?
Why not just eliminate confession erm…..or is it reconciliation?
Just have the pope grant general absolution to the entire world! Besides since there is no hell and everybody goes to heaven why waste your valuable afternoon going to confession? Erm……um? Or is that reconciliation?
This is a joke, no?
Yes. Satire
To be honest I wouldn’t have been surprised if it weren’t haha
And that’s why it’s so funny.
It’s believable
RJMI has written and spoke on this topic of simony at his site: JohnTheBaptist.us The One, True God, the Catholic God and His One, True Catholic Church has always condemned simony. If Catholics obey the demands/laws of the Church on tithing, sufficient funds are given to the pastors for their needs. God condemns the following as simony: Mass stipends, stole fees, money for weddings and funerals and Baptisms and the Sacraments and so forth.
Here is his writing on Simony
Non-Catholics Cannot Hold Offices in the Catholic Church, by RJMI, book, Br65
—Hence the secret sin of simony, which is heresy, bans offenders from offices
Page 97: Hence the secret sin of simony, which is heresy, bans offenders from offices
Simony is the buying or attempted buying of sacred things, such as the sacraments,
sacramentals, blessings, and offices in the Catholic Church. Simony was always condemned as a heresy during the Old Testament era and New Testament era. It is an ordinary magisterium and
solemn magisterium dogma that simoniacs are automatically excommunicated from the Catholic
Church and thus banned from holding offices. Hence a Catholic officeholder who becomes a
simoniac is automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church and hence is no longer
Catholic and thus automatically loses his office. And a Catholic who attempts to obtain an office
by simony is automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church and hence is no longer
Catholic and thus does not obtain the office. And priests and bishops who are simoniacs are
illegal and thus cannot effectively function as priests and bishops.
Therefore the ordination of a bishop by simony is invalid in relation to obtaining the office
and illegal in relation to becoming a bishop. This simoniac does not obtain the office. And even
though he becomes a bishop, he does not have the legal right to function as a bishop and hence
his rank of bishop is rendered ineffective as long as he remains outside the Catholic Church.
The first simoniac on record during the New Covenant era was Simon Magus. The sin was
named after him. He offered money to Pope St. Peter to become a bishop and obtain the office of
bishop. But St. Peter condemned Simon and told him that a rank and office cannot be bought:
“And when Simon saw that by the imposition of the hands of the apostles the Holy
Spirit was given, he offered them money, saying: Give me also this power, that on
whomsoever I shall lay my hands, he may receive the Holy Spirit. But Peter said to
him: Keep thy money to thyself to perish with thee because thou hast thought that
the gift of God may be purchased with money. Thou hast no part nor lot in this
matter. For thy heart is not right in the sight of God.” (Acts 8:18-21)
Catholic Commentary on Acts 8:18: “Offered them money: Simony, this wicked
sorcerer Simon is noted by St. Irenaeus (li. 1 c. 20) and others to have been the first
heretic and father of all heretics to come in the Church of God. He gave the onset to
purchase with his money spiritual functions; that is, to buy the office of bishop, for
to have power to give the Holy Spirit by imposition of hands is to be a bishop, and
to buy the priesthood, for to have power to remit sins and to consecrate Christ’s
body is to be a priest. He attempted to buy the authority to minister Sacraments, to
preach, to have cure of souls, to buy a benefice, and likewise in all other spiritual
things, whereof either to make sale or purchase for money or money’s worth, which
is a great horrible sin called simony and is named ‘Simonical Heresy’ of this
detestable man who first attempted to buy a spiritual function or office. (See D.
Greg. apud Ioan. Diac. in vir. li. 3, c. 2, 3, 4, 5).”.......