German Bishops Rush to Check-Off Every Heresy Before They Figure Out Whether or Not Pope Leo XIV Will Stop Them
Will He Stop Them?
Cardinal Gunter Schuster, a liberal German cardinal who was extremely close to Pope Francis, is “a little uncertain about Leo XIV.”
“He looks like he’ll support our synodal way and leave us alone to do whatever we want in peace” he commented, speaking at the German Bishops’ 12th annual “Synodal Way” anniversary dinner today. “But you never know. He also could turn out to really be a Leo XIV like unto the Leos before him and kick our schism—, err, synodal selves out of the Church. But I dunno, never safe than sorry, I guess. We’ll get everything we ever wanted to do, gay weddings, married priests, approval for contraception, intercommunion with all the Protestants, a new, even more Novusy Novus Ordo, and fully eliminating any requirements for belief in the Creed, out of the way before he could stop us. If he does actually want to stop us, that is.”
Cardinal Schuster added: “All of us German bishops are, of course, proclaiming that Pope Leo XIV is on our side. We don’t know that for sure, of course. It worries us that conservatives and even some ‘rad-trads’ also think the Pope is on their side. Obviously, it can’t be both. And yet, we will continue to both claim him for ourselves and do as much behind his back as we can unless he tries to stop us.”
“If it comes to schism, then we’re ready,” added an anonymous archbishop of another of Germany’s largest dioceses. “If he undoes just one little bit of Pope St. Francis the First’s glorious achievements, we’ll leave. For now, we’re just glad that he appears to have unofficially canonized Francis. At least for now it looks like he’s willing to play ball.”
“But he’d better watch himself,” added the bishop of Munster, Germany, Bishop Adrian Schonbaum. “If we catch him using too much Latin, imposing the slightest of moral standards, or—dare the thought—excommunicating anyone, we’re out. All of us will be out. Leo, you’ve been warned. Behave yourself!”
Liberal organizations like Fr. James Martin’s Knights of the Rainbow Bridge have praised the German bishops for “making much needed changes and spirit filled steps toward greater synodal synodality and ever more ecumenical and tolerant faith journeys.”
Pope Leo XIV has, as of yet, not commented directly on the threats of the German epsicopate, and only indirectly today spoke vaguely of how “the synodal-ecumenical-path of Vatican II-heremenutic-continuity must be followed for the sake of the Truth that is Jesus Christ.”
Two weeks into Leo’s pontificate we’re still in almost as much suspense over whether he’s a liberal like unto Francis (but just a little more moderate) or the most “based-est” and “trad-est” Pope since Pius XII.
Both narratives, for the German bishops as well as for the rest of us, hang in the balance as equally likely based on the mixed signals we’ve seen so far.
My serious thoughts on the new pontificate thus far:
