Major Conflict Arises Between King and His Minister: Pope Leo XIV Will Mediate a Settlement

Emperor Donald I vs. Duke Musk of Starbase

Pope Leo XIV has arranged to step in and intervene in a rising conflict that began yesterday between the king of America, Emperor Donald I, and his former chief minister, Sir Elon Musk.

Sir Musk was the court magician, advisor to the king, and the rich Duke of Starbase and Special Envoy of the Emperor to the Lands of Mars ever since he helped finance Emperor Donald’s return to power last fall. Recently, as the Emperor’s chief advisor, he ran a special administration known as the Exchequer of Imperial Parsimony (EOIP).

Emperor Donald I, pressuring the annual imperial parliament currently in session, praised a proposal yesterday that would lean to spending more money than his empire’s tax and toll revenues had been collecting that promised at once both relief for his overburdened subjects in the manner of corvee and taxation as well as improved finances and greater public works within the kingdom.

But Sir Musk opposed this plan, claiming that it would be the ruin of the kingdom and lead the country into usurious debt bondage to the Kingdom of China. In a series of escalating publicly proclaimed messages to the emperor, Musk complained about how his service to the emperor in helping him regain the throne after the abdication of Emperor Josef Biden against the risk of Lady Kamala of Many Laughs taking the throne had been forgotten. Musk accused the emperor of having engaged in much debauched intrigue within the Caribbean castle of Count Epstein, and of his parliamentarians aiming to defraud the subjects of the kingdom to enrich their own estates. Going further, he proclaimed that the emperor had broken his promises to Duke Musk and, therefore, needed to be overthrown by the parliament and replaced by Lord Chancellor Vance, the Duke of Ohio. It is not treason to rebel and seek the kingship for himself, Musk argues, as the Emperor fell to heresy and merited deposition by appointing a heretical “priestess” of the Protestant sects (Paula White) to his privy council and publicly attending a service held by another of the same. As chief advisor and a claimed supporter of the orthodox and Catholic faith, Musk claims that he, or, in the alternative, through negotiation, Lord Vance, deserves the kingship.

Trump meeting with the “priestess” whom he had appointed to his Privy Council

Trump attending a heretical service led by a female “priestess”

Emperor Donald fired back by claiming that Duke Musk only opposed the parliamentarian proposal because of the loss of benefits that he had been hoping to accrue to his person and his estates under the current laws of the land. The emperor, pointing out the high honors and trust he had already conferred upon Sir Musk, pointed out the further fact that Musk was born in the foreign land of South Africa and so was not a true subject of his imperial majesty by blood and only by Emperor Donald’s favor.

While violent hostilities have not yet broken out between the emperor and his former chief minister, millions around the kingdom have already flocked to the banners of each rival as volunteer auxiliaries. The supporters of Sir Musk belive that the Duke’s plans to colonize the lands of Mars offer them the opportunity for gold, glory, and spreading the Faith amongst the stars, whilst the many supporters of the emperor believe they cannot break their oaths of fealty and also need him, Donald I being their only hope of breaking the entrenched power of usurious conniving ministers, lords, and parliamentarians throughout the kingdom. Peace for the moment remains throughout the kingdom, but tensions run high within the cities and towns.

The emperor’s supporters fear that Sir Elon may be in possession of magical powers bequeathed to him by his cavorting in the dark arts as well as his wealth, resources, and control of many of the scriptoria and monasteries throughout the kingdom that are crucial to the transmission of information, knowledge, and the passing around of the messages of the king. For example, Sir Elon’s Starlink network of express messenger couriers and his ownership of many discussion halls (pubs) known as the Twitter/X network give him an information transmission advantage over the king, who only has the smaller TruthSocial network of halls within his direct control. Sir Musk also manufactures most of the king’s navy in his SpaceX enterprise, most of the new chariots in the kingdom through his Tesla venture, and is even trying to create mechanical serfs known as “Optimus Robots.” The king does have many loyal supporters who identify themselves to each other with the famed red hoods known as chaperons inscribed with the king’s battlecry “Make America Great Again”, and he likely has the support of most of his military forces, but many of his dukes, lords, and counts are of uncertain loyalty. Many on the emperor’s side also fear that his treasuries are already drained, the country already deep into foriegn debt, with the emperor’s personal resources, mostly in some newfangled form of money known as “cryptocurrency” also of uncertain wealth, whilst Sir Elon is renowned as the most wealthy man in the world, far wealthier than the emperor.

Into this uncertain situation, seemingly right on the edge of civil war between supporters of the emperor and those of the duke, Pope Leo XIV, having recently crowned Trump as emperor, but having many personal points of opposition to the emperor, especially with Trump’s heterodox beliefs, has issued offers to mediate. He hopes to persuade whoever comes out on top after the settlement of the dispute to better enforce the Holy and Catholic Faith across the lands of America currently filled with Protestant heretics and a rising number of schismatic Orthodox amidst infidel Mohammedans who have infiltrated the kingdom through the porous badlands along its southern border.

”We pray that this most Holy See may intervene and end the chance of pointless unholy war between the emperor and his ministers and call on them both to submit to the judgement of our See,” said the Pope in a papal bull issued today, calling on both parties to come to Rome under safe passage to be guaranteed by the troops of the Papal States and enter talks with the Holy Father.

While both the emperor and the duke are, again, of uncertain moral character and definitely heterodox in their public statements, they have agreed to meet the Pope, who hopes that he can mediate a settlement of the disagreement without giving undue benefit to either party that could turn around and threaten the Pope and the papal states, as with the infamous disputes almost a millennia ago between the Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II and Pope Gregory IX in the 13th century or between Holy Roman Emperor Charles V in the 16th century during the Protestant Reformation, when Charles’ forces, though he was Catholic, but they being Protestant, would up sacking Rome.

The world watches and prays for the efforts of the Pope to work and for the Holy Spirit to intercede and save the kingdom and lead the emperor and his rival down paths of wisdom and righteousness in their dispute. Bishops within the empire have called for public penance, prayer, and fasting in beseeching God for a merciful, peaceful settlement.

The loyalties of the Pope’s brother, a subject of the king known as Louis Prevost are currently with the emperor, but he is rumored to have been swayed by an offer from Sir Musk to formally suppress heresy in the lands of America should he sway the Pope to taking the Duke’s side in the negotiations.