Cardinal Zuppi's Supporters Claim "RUSSIAN COLLUSION" Caused Him To Lose the Conclave
His Cohort of Online Fangirls Cry Fowl While Trads Investigate "Other Shenanigans"
Cardinal Matteo Zuppi, the archbishop of Bolonga, Italy and infamous for being a close ally of Pope Francis and supporting “blessings” for “homosexual couples” while also supporting and loving the Traditional Latin Mass, was a favorite in many betting pools to win the conclave that just elected Cardinal Prevost as Pope Leo XIV.
Zuppi, according to reports, however, never got more than 15-20 out of the 133 votes of the cardinal-electors, but this hasn’t stopped his fervent supporters from claiming that “Russian Collusion” swung the conclave from their favorite candidate.
(Here is one of the many online fan videos circulating over the last few weeks in support of Cardinal Zuppi)
“WE WERE ROBBED!” cried one of Zuppi’s fans.
“RUSSIAN COLLUSION,” cried another. “Oh my poor Zuppi.”
“Trump and Cardinal Dolan colluded with Russia to get Prevost in,” complained another. “And Fr. Jim Martin failed us! How could he? Why is he supporting an unproven candidate who may or may not be as liberal as we want when he could have just campaigned for Zuppi?”
Cardinal Tagle and his supporters, meanwhile, also think they were cheated out of his becoming the Pope, but have chosen to take their loss more lightly, with Cardinal Tagle seeking to make a second attempt at becoming a pop singer:
Cardinal Parolin, the mastermind behind the secret Vatican deal with the Chinese Communist Party, has settled down to a comfortable Chinese-sponsored retirement in Beijing, China.
Pope Leo XIV (Cardinal Prevost) has denied all reports that he was elected by means of “Russian Collusion,” and his outspoken MAGA-conservative brother from Florida, Louis Prevost, claims the same about his brother. However, many Trads see strong evidence that there were nevertheless some shenanigans in the papal conclave.
“Fr. James Martin was smiling that little smug grin,” said Pius Tentherson III, a regular Latin Mass goer from St. Mary’s, Kansas. “Obviously, the St. Gallen Mafia got their guy in again,” he added.
“135,000 mail-in ballots showed up at 3 AM,” claimed Andrew Wattsmith. “That was enough to switch it from Cardinal Sarah to Prevost.”
“I think Trump’s claim that he was going to be elected really messed with the outcome,” added a third anonymous FSSP-attending Catholic. “The Cardinals were threatened by Cardinal Tobin, saying he would play ‘Canticle of the Sun’ with a backdrop of liturgical dance on endless repeat if they didn’t vote the way he asked them to.”
Further intrigue has been spread by the official Society of St. Pius X (SSPX) statement about the conclave. It hints at an “Erdo thesis” not unlike the “Siri thesis” which many sedevacantists and rad-trads in general make about the 1958 conclave that elected John XXIII, but which many think instead elected Cardinal Siri, who was “forced aside” but would have been the “real pope.”
In this case, the SSPX and certain other rad trads suspect that the Hungarian conservative Cardinal Erdo could have been the “real” winner but was forced aside to undetailed “shenanigans.”
Whatever the case, it’s unlikely that Pope Leo XIV will investigate any of these claims of collusion or interference in the election, especially after his brother Louis has already declared them all to be “fake news.”
Rad-trad Tim Gordon of Rules for Retrogrades, for one, is meanwhile angry at Cardinal Burke and Cardinal Sarah for “failing him” by failing to hold a secret conclave of their own as an “insurance policy” to the results of the real conclave. “They failed us!" he commented on his show today.
