Interview with Luce: Vatican Communication's Director and Jubilee Year Mascot
Luce's Last Public Interview Before She Went Missing
Luce was the Director of the Vatican Dicastery for Communications and was the mascot for the 2025 Jubilee Year. This interview was originally conducted in March 2025, before Luce went missing in March and hasn’t been seen in public or heard from ever since.
Everett: Thank you, Luce, for agreeing to sit down at IIT headquarters for this exclusive interview. Some people were scandalized by your appearance when you first took the job as mascot for the 2025 Jubilee Year and then rolled into a permanent position as Director of the Vatican Dicastery for Communications, but it seems that the trads are coming around to like you. Can you tell us whether there was a shift for you, and if so, why?
Luce: Obviously, I don’t have a traditionalist background. I’m of mixed Japanese and Italian ancestry, and grew up in pretty charismatic parishes, but the artist who designed my outfit for the gig, included a Rosary, which led, well, to a whole long set of things, but it did do a lot to deepen my faith, which led to me, changing up my outfit, getting a little more serious about coming to Mass instead of just synodality events, and even going to adoration.
Everett: Can you comment on the reports that you were fired and replaced with Melty the Icecap as the new mascot of the Vatican?
Luce: I did replace Pachy the Pachamama as the official Vatican mascot, so I guess I was an improvement, but the rumors about Melty replacing me are all fake and came from tabloid news sources like Lonesome in Exile News and Irkutsk Ice Truckers. Don’t believe everything you read online.
Everett: It’s long been rumored that your ‘conversion’ to taking the faith more seriously involved some sort of deal with the SSPX. Can you speak more to that?
Luce: There was never a deal, properly speaking, but I did talk to them a lot about managing the messaging around their pilgrimage to the Vatican last summer. I did attend and walk and pray with them, and they gave me a nice SSPX jacket, a scapular, and a Sacred Heart patch, but I never formally joined them, even though I do appear in some of their propaganda videos. I’d call myself a sympathizer, even though I obviously have conflicts of interest being the director of a dicastery that’s working on our own anti-SSPX video series. Puts me in an odd position, I’d admit.
Everett: How have you liked working as the Vatican Communications director? How tightly regulated are you at your job? What is the environment like?
Luce: It’s great. No further comment.
Everett: You told me privately that you’re happy and continuing in your job as Communications Director. Do you plan to stay in your current position?
Luce: Yes, of course. I am being more careful in how I present myself, but I love this job and promoting the faith, and I definitely plan to stay.
[knock on the door as a woman and several nuns walk in[
One of them: So great to see you, Luce. We’re here to take you to Our Lady of the Angels Monastery as planned. Thanks for your great work as Communications Director, but I’m taking over now. You’ll do such great work for the Dicastery and for the Church by helping out the monastery and the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament.
Luce: I don’t remember fully committing to this.
One of them: Don’t worry, Luce, you’ll find your vocation. By the way, Everett, you’re sworn to secrecy about this.
Several months later:
EWTN headlines on June 1, 2026:
Where Is Luce?: Vatican Mascot Disappeared in March 2026 and Hasn’t Been Seen in Public Since
EWTN’s Maria Alvarado Appointed As New Director of Vatican Dicastery for Communications
Our Lady of the Angels Monastery Is Singlehandedly Ending the Vocations Crisis for Sisters
Due to various legal obligations, we’re unable to discuss or disclose Luce’s whereabouts, but we were glad we were able to interview her before she mysteriously disappeared, and we wish the new Vatican communications director blessings in her new role.
Let us know what you think happened to Luce?
That picture of Luce at Our Lady of the Angels Monastery is so obviously an AI fake. The eyes are just so wrong for our beloved Luce.
I'm sure the name "Luce" was chosen by the enemy colonizers of the Vatican, or their Judeo-Masonic shot callers, because of Lucifer whom they worship.