33 Comments
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Natalie's avatar

He and his followers need to create their own religion and leave our Catholic faith and traditions alone. Who made him God?

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Everett Polinski's avatar

German bishops being German bishops again... As in the 16th century so today. Which makes them the perfect target for satire!

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G Palomo's avatar

It’s satire! The essay has a satire warning at the beginning.

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Thomas F Davis's avatar

What’s this guy’s problem? He gets a rainbow jacket but doesn’t get a rainbow beanie! What a wasted opportunity!

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James R. Green's avatar

He needs to leave room free for himself to become more progressive next year...

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Brian Weber's avatar

This is so ridiculous. It’s gotta be fake story.

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Brian Weber's avatar

Thanks, I didn’t see that. I have no need for satire so I will have to watch more closely.

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Sarah Wesseling's avatar

It says it’s satire at the top of the article.

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James R. Green's avatar

Check out the rest of our satire here on https://irkutskice.substack.com We've got nearly 800 articles in the archive from the past five years.

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Shrink GOVT's avatar

Pope Francis (God bless him) doesn’t stand for anything if he fails to fire this clown.

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G Palomo's avatar

It’s satire! Tje essay has a satire warning at the beginnings

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Everett Polinski's avatar

Cardinal Schuster -

"Well, it is not the way of the Spirit to listen to the Pope unless he follows the synodal way. Since I follow the synodal way to further synodality in the spirit, I follow what the Pope, were he to live in the spirit, would suggest. Therefore, I don't need to listen to the Pope if he tries to fire me because that would prove he is going against the way of the spirit. To be honest with you, the Pope isn't really fond of how independent we German bishops are going. He called us faggots last week, and I didn't like that. But we all know he's just angry that we don't share our drug money with the Vatican Bank. We keep it for our own work and to sponsor our own socialist parties. Again, surely, he would, if he were truly following the synodal way, agree with us."

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Shrink GOVT's avatar

If it walks like a heretic and quacks like a heretic……..

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James R. Green's avatar

Why is it always the German bishops?

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Veronica Brandt's avatar

Almost like in Australia. We're down to two holy days of obligation each year, Christmas and Assumption.

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James R. Green's avatar

Not even Good Friday? All Saints Day? or Immaculate Conception?

Just wait till they propose transferring all obligation to eternity alone...

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Amy's avatar

Canada the same. We only have Christmas Day and New Years Day (Mary Mother of God)

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Fr. AM's avatar

Sadly, only two holy days of obligation here in Canada as well (apart from Sundays): December 25 and January 1. And in years when these two dates happen to fall on a Sunday, we have zero holy days (apart from Sundays). Minimalism at its best.... or, more appropriately, at its worst.

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Everett Polinski's avatar

Cardinal Schuster accepts the challenge. "I can go even more minimal than you," he commented. "How about we cut the Sacraments, cut the religious orders and get rid of Sunday (including Easter Sunday) entirely..."

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Veronica Brandt's avatar

After a more attentive reading, I'm glad we still have Sundays!

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Andrew Vargas's avatar

I keep on scuttling into the Substack only each time to forget it is satire till halfway through the article lol. Excellent work though hahaha

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Everett Polinski's avatar

Thank you. I'm sorry that reality is copying our work so closely. We should sue reality, or ask the Vatican to put us in charge of a dicastery or something.

Let us know if you have any great satire ideas you'd like us to cover!

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Andrew Vargas's avatar

Hahaha yes indeed — the Synod for Synodality turns into Stuart Knechtle’s pipe dream of Vatican III

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Everett Polinski's avatar

I also dream of Vatican III, but a slightly different type of council: https://irkutskice.substack.com/p/the-vatican-trilogy-to-conclude-with

Kind of like the encyclical that Dr. Kwasniewski wrote for whichever Pope would be willing to use it: https://www.traditionsanity.com/p/ut-impleretur-instauratio-the-inaugural

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Andrew Vargas's avatar

It would be very nice indeed if a Pope issued an encyclical like Kwasniewski’s

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G Palomo's avatar

It’s satire. It literally warns on the essay.

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Suzanne B Davis's avatar

Whaaaat?????

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Lydia Davidson's avatar

Why don't they eat once a year, that would be so good for the starving Masses, the environment, and the times. Does anyone expect to go to heaven or are these people only about this life? Wow, once a year for God, what absolute arrogance!

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James R. Green's avatar

Yep... that's the problem, reality is rapidly approaching satire...

Fasting is its own separate issue as it's reached hilariously low levels within Roman practice at least in the United States. Although I admittedly am also nowhere near the Byzantine abilities at it myself. They seem to retain it quite well.

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gearoid's avatar

Demonic Repent

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How To Be Catholic's avatar

Diabolical.

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Thomas F Davis's avatar

Yes, the things satired here certainly are,

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How To Be Catholic's avatar

I think I was referring to an earlier comment, not the satire. But diabolical all the same.

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