17 Comments
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RosaryKnight's avatar

So is it fake news or real?

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James R. Green's avatar

We're satire! Check out our top articles like this one here: https://irkutskice.substack.com/p/diocese-banishes-latin-mass-to-undersea

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Laura M's avatar

Noooooo……not Susan from the Parish Council! Lord have Mercy!

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Everett Polinski's avatar

Well, now she's off the Parish Council.

And at least she's not Fr. James Martin!

All the neo-Popesplainers have agreed for these two reasons alone that this is a "super based" appointment for Pope Leo to have made.

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Laura M's avatar

Well, I suppose I should be grateful she's no longer micromanaging us to death, the Lord does indeed have mercy. Good on Da Pope.

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Laura M's avatar

Save us from the fires of Parish Council.

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Laura M's avatar

Lord, have Mercy. We are doomed.

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James R. Green's avatar

Well, she will now get to micromanage all Catholic education everywhere as well as personally collaborate with Fr. James Martin on "engaging" with the culture in her new role.

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Laura M's avatar

Crud, you're right...at least she's not a Nun? Grasping at straws here.

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Everett Polinski's avatar

You're right. Which would make this appointment completely "based" and "trad", right, because it doesn't distract nuns from their cloisters?

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Jeron Smith's avatar

"Cluster" sounds about right.

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Everett Polinski's avatar

"Aren't you excited to be part of a parish that is now a seven church cluster with one priest as part of Bishop Sam Brown's seven-step "Unity through Synodal Syndoality 2030" diocesan renewal plan? It means that LAY PEOPLE get to lead the synodality! Isn't it so heartwarmingly inclusive of the Bishop to have given us such great leadership and such a great plan!"

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Jeron Smith's avatar

Oh yeah sure warms my heart all the way to hell

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James R. Green's avatar

Would you like to participate in our annual interfaith dialogue mediation experience at the Buddhist temple? It's an important diocesan fundraising event held in collaboration with the local Masonic lodge, and it will pay for renovations to the bishop's residence, as well as covering the expenses of some poor laid-off USAID employees.

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Jeron Smith's avatar

My heart breaks for those poor USAID folks, but I just gave my monthly tithe to pastor Jimmy Martin's "Outreach" apostolate and am also funding bridge-building with New Ways Ministries.

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George of Hanover's avatar

I hear it was down to her and Linda from HR. I think we dodged a bullet.

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Hans Gruber Central Banker's avatar

"Shoot the glass."

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