Trump to Boost Domestic Seminary Production With Tariff on Foreign Priests
Aims to Support Domestic Seminaries and Make America a Net-Exporter of Priests
Having only just recently announced tariffs on Vatican City in order to “prevent further imports of the Novus Ordo Missae and theological liberalism, President Trump announced a further tariff initiative today that will have strong effects on the Catholic Church within the United States.
Noting that America just can’t seem to produce enough priests anymore, Trump bemoaned in his speech today that more and more, it seems that dioceses in America are resorting to importing priests from foreign countries.
“Those Nigerian and Filipino priests are orthodox and all, and great to have, but it’s a big shame that America can’t produce enough priests for itself any more,” Trump remarked in a press conference today. “Back in 1950 we had all the seminaries, the best seminaries, and trained the best priests here. We were sending missionaries to those places all over the world. But now, after ol crooked sleepy Joe entered congress it all went downhill. Now we import priests from all over the world and our seminaries are small, shrinking, and as crazy as ol Kamala. People tell me ‘stay clear of those places, they’re dangerous beds of scandal and heresy.’ It’s also a shame on America that we’re draining the rest of the world of their clergy right now. It’s downright scandalous if I dare say so, myself.”
"In Switzerland, in Germany, in Nigeria, in India, they're building new seminaries all over the place to train priests and then send them as missionaries into the United States. I say 'no way you're not going to do that.' We're going to put tariffs on those seminaries... We want those seminarians to be educated in America. We want to take in seminarians from around the world and from around our great country and start exporting them again.”
“With the new tariffs I’m imposing today, unless Pope Francis and the U.S bishops sit down to negotiate a deal with me to fix this problem directly, we’ll make U.S. seminaries even greater than they were in their prime and for us to be at the center of the action of the Church in the 21st Century. We’re going to bring back the seminaries and the religious orders to the United States. We’re going to bring back the Catholic Country. It’s going to be called a Catholic Country again. Or, well, for the first time. But they’re going to call it a Catholic Country, mark my words."
However, many economists, already displeased by Trump’s other tariff proposals, warn that a tariff on foreign priests will only exacerbate low productivity and performance of domestic seminaries and parishes.
“We can’t just fix this problem by imposing tariffs,” warned one of them named Jimmy Akin, an apologist for Catholic Answers and self-proclaimed Church economics expert. “We actually need to persuade young American Catholics to consider priestly and religious vocations. Just imposing tariffs won’t change people’s hearts to be open to the Holy Spirit. Rather, if the tariffs force dioceses not to bring in foreign missionaries, our Churches will have even less priests, and our children will be even less likely to fill the vocations gap.
Other economists have warned that other country’s may impose tariffs on the few missionary exports that are produced within the United States. If a trade war starts over priests, it could send domestic seminaries into a further economic tailspin if foreign dioceses no longer send their seminarians for education in the United States.
Vice President J.D. Vance responded to Akin’s and other similar complaints on X today by suggesting that if all else fails he’s open to conscription of Catholic young people to fill the Church’s needs: “We could always just have a draft to fill our parishes and our monasteries” he posted.
Just be sure and put a Father Cosmus exception in there 😀. He’s one of the most devout priests I’ve ever met and he’s got a great sense of humor. I don’t want to say goodbye to that good man!
It is rather interesting how we got to a place where so many foreign priests are in our parishes. We have 2 from Kenya who have been serving in ours for years and one who comes back and forth from Nigeria for medical reasons. Most people don’t understand why he goes back there where he is Pastor in a fortress like parish and priests are constantly in the position of being abducted or killed. God knows how dedicated he is to his parishioners and I believe that is why he returns.